I asked my Mastermind members, what should I talk about next on the podcast? And an entire conversation was sparked about saying NO. Why is it so hard to say no? To themselves, clients, staff? It is an interesting topic that I have a lot to say about.
There is something interesting that happens when you say no to people. They actually trust you more. They are never left wondering if you really mean something because they know that your yes is a yes and your no is a no. But if you are like many pet sitting and dog walking business owners I encounter, a lot of the times their yes actually means no but they are too afraid to say it.
Also… when you say no, you are setting boundaries in your life and actually building your own self respect. Your own person starts to gain confidence because they feel empowered.
Biggest Takeaways
When to Say No to Clients
Identify what kind of client you are working with. First, Is this an ideal client? Second, what does your policy say, these were made and written down, for this reason, to say no when you need to.
How to Say No to Employees and Applicants
Look at their availability stay strict with it. Set up policies for change but stay strict with those policies. How many times do you hire someone with availability and then it just keeps changing? Protect yourself and prevent this from happening.
What Makes You Not Say No?
Find the source of why you feel like you can’t say no. What thoughts run through your head? Attack the issue at the source not at the symptoms.
Show Highlights
- Identify Your Clients and Say No to the Wrong Kind [5.45]
- Your Policies and Prices are There to Support You [8.03]
- Have Boundaries with Your Applicants and Employees [10.50]
- Why Don’t You Say No? [14.45]
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Transcript:
This is episode 258 of Bella in Your Business. Hi there, I’m Bella Vasta from Jump Consulting. You might know me from CBS, NBC, Fox, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur, or maybe you’ve seen me speak on stage or read my book, The Four Dogs That Every Business Owner Needs. In any case, get ready because you’re about to get your hashtag Bella Butt Kickin’ in this next episode of Bella in Your Business.
So what do you say? Let’s get ready and jump. And today we are going to talk about something called the art of saying no. I was looking for some podcast ideas and I went to our mastermind group and asked them. One topic that really gained a lot of popularity was how to say no in a variety of different areas. And so today I’m going to talk about that. But before we actually dive into that, I want you to think about someone in your life who you might ask to do something, and you know they say yes, but you kind of look at them sideways and you’re like, I really know you don’t want to do this and you’re doing this for me. Then it kind of makes you feel bad, and underneath that, it actually is that you can’t trust them because you can’t trust their yes or their no with a period at the end.
One of you listeners right now might be that person who says yes a lot more times when you really feel like you should have said no. What happens is when you say yes instead of no, you start getting resentful of either the person, the task, or sometimes even yourself. That just shows you have a lack of boundaries and a lack of ability to stand up for yourself. And while I’m not a therapist, I have done enough self-discovery to know that there are many different reasons why we do this as people running around society—whether it’s a lack of self-confidence, lack of decision-making, being told that we weren’t capable of making decisions, or that we were responsible for other people’s feelings. There is a myriad of reasons, but that’s the psychology way—and we are not going to talk about that today. We’re going to talk about the art of saying no inside your business when it relates to your clients, your policies, applicants, and employees. Oh yes, we’re going to cover all four of those. So let’s get into it.
The word no literally is one sentence: “No.” Period. No, it’s not being mean. It’s not putting people off. It’s not being a B-I-T-C-H. It’s none of those things. It is literally just saying what you cannot do. “I can’t do it.” This is where my boundary line is. When you say that, people know they can trust you because they’re no longer wondering, “Does she really mean it? Does she really want to do it? Can she really do it? Is her heart really into it?” When you say no, people understand that they can trust you.
Something else that I’ve always said—and this goes along with sales—is that sometimes maybe you don’t say the word no per se, but you say, “You know, someone asks you something and you can’t do it,” and you say, “Well, here’s what I can do for you.” Then you give them one, two, or three options. For those of you who really hate the word no, that’s a softer way you can do it. But let’s talk about it because we have these clients who are just not a match, right?
They’ll ask you, “Can you go outside of your limits?” Maybe they moved outside your city limit and you start saying yes to these people, and all of a sudden you’re spreading yourself too thin. Or “Can you not charge me a cancellation or late fee?” Or “Can you give me more time off from an employee?” Or “I want to keep changing my schedule.” Or “Can you bend the rules for me and just hire me anyway because your gut tells you?” Or “My availability isn’t what you want, but you can work around it.” Or a client telling you, “The dog is just shy,” or “My dog pulls on the leash,” or “Can you come a little later or earlier?” or “Can you watch my mom’s dog too at my house?” Or employees who keep making the same mistake. You guys, all of these situations are things that happen to you on a regular basis.
When we have clients that aren’t a match, it is not a popularity contest. You’ve heard me say that so many times, and I want you to dig down deep into the boss in charge that you are. You can say no. “Unfortunately, we’re just not a match. I want you to have your needs met, but I cannot meet them.” No. Many people don’t do this because they don’t even know who their ideal client is.
If you don’t know who your ideal client is, go ahead and jump on over to my Jump and Scale course—it’s joinjumpconsulting.com. It’s a three-hour workshop in three one-hour sections. A lot of it’s geared toward employees, but all of the “how to build avatars” work for clients as well. It’s totally free. You’re welcome.
Listen, you say no to the clients that just aren’t your ideal clients. The more you can visualize what your actual client looks like—who they are, what they do, how much money they have, why they need you, how they book, and how they pay—the more you can identify who your ideal client is. That builds business happiness. When you identify that someone is not a client for you and you can say no and refuse service, that’s going to make you happy. It’s going to reduce the amount of resentment you have in your business—which I know many of you have.
You’ve got to say no to the wrong kind of clients, but you have to do the work and figure out who the right kind are first. Policies are another thing people bend on. I’m going to group pricing into this as well. Policies that are not made by you or that don’t support you can build resentment and hatred for your business and create a bad, negative working environment for yourself.
Maybe you have a policy, like a key policy. You have one way of doing it, but your clients ask you to do something else. Maybe they don’t want to give you a key and want to hide it under the mat every time. That’s all fine and dandy until the one time you get there—when you have tons of visits that day—and the key’s not under the mat. Or maybe you get convinced that you’ll job share with a neighbor who comes in the PM while you come in the AM, and then the neighbor doesn’t do their job, making your morning visit even more hectic and full of extra work—and the pet suffers.
You have policies for a reason. When people try to bend them, say, “No, I can’t do that. That doesn’t work for us.” Or, “No, here’s what I can do.” And that’s it. You’ve got to stand up for that because you made these policies during a time when there wasn’t a crisis—hopefully. Don’t be the person who adds to their contract reactively every time something happens, thinking, “If it’s in my contract, everyone will remember.” News flash: they won’t. You probably won’t even. That’s how we get reactive. Don’t do that.
Say no to clients who aren’t your match. Say no to people trying to bend your policies. Another one—applicants. So many times I see you try to hire out of desperation. You’re looking for an apple and end up with a pear because you think, “Well, it kind of looks like an apple, but it’s not really an apple, but I’ll make it work.” And then you end up regretting it.
If you’re looking for someone with availability Monday through Friday, 10 to 2, don’t hire someone available 4 to 7. I’ve seen you do that. Or you’re looking for an office manager 9 to 1, but someone comes along with all the credentials and seems perfect, except they can work 3 to 6. You think, “Okay, maybe I’ll change it.” No. Draw that boundary line in the sand and stand up to it. This is about boundaries within yourself—standing up for yourself and holding to your word about what you said you wanted.
Now, employees. Some of you literally ask your staff their schedule every week and work around them. Please stop. You hired them because they told you their availability on their application. That’s what your hiring decision was based on. It’s a major point of why you hired them. So you need to say no.
People are asking for too many days off? Say no. Just because someone asks doesn’t mean you have to grant it. You are the boss. Are you afraid people will quit? If they do, they’re doing you a favor, because it’s not working for you anyway. It’s not working for the benefit of the company if someone is constantly changing their schedule or bending your rules.
It is not possible if you’re driving 30 minutes to a client when most of your clients are 10 to 15 minutes away. This is a lack of boundary setting. I guarantee you there’s something in your life where you’ve had a similar situation—maybe a relationship where you felt responsible for someone else’s emotions, or maybe a lack of self-confidence in your ability to make decisions because you were never told you were capable.
Boundaries and sticking with them is a monumental life lesson and skill that will either hinder or propel you in your business. It will show up in every area of your business. I bet that those of you listening right now are not just having problems saying no to clients, but also to employees, your best friend, your mother, your child, your aunt, uncle, sister, brother, or other relationships. Anything happening in your business shows up in your personal life too—and for that, I highly recommend talking to a therapist or trusted friend.
You need to learn to say no. And it’s not just saying no—it’s understanding why you can’t. What’s the worst that could happen if you do? People will quit? So what? If they quit, find the right kind of people who won’t quit just because they don’t get their way.
There’s a thing called a job and an employer-employee relationship. You set expectations, they agree, and you have harmony. But when they start pushing your boundaries or bending the rules—that’s when the prisoners start running the asylum. You don’t have to be a dictator or rule with an iron fist, but you also can’t be a pushover. The power lies in the middle of that continuum.
That’s what I want to bring to your consciousness today. How can you be your best boss in charge? Where are you on this continuum? What are you going to do to lay more in the middle?
I hope this podcast has helped you today. I love your feedback—email me at [email protected]. Please leave reviews on Spotify, Google Play, or Apple Podcasts—wherever you listen. They make my day.
This has been another episode of Bella in Your Business. Just say no—just like they taught us in school, if you’re my age group at least. And remember that when life gets you down, to always keep jumping. Bye now.
So what did you think? Did you love this episode? I sure hope you did because I put a lot of love into this for you. The best way you can show me that is by going to iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever you listen to your podcast and leaving a review. I just might read it on the next episode. I also want to remind you that when life gets you down, remember to always keep jumping. Thanks for listening.